I Almost Do
by kathryndreamer
Summary: Lilly regrets having a fight with Scotty and tries to figure out how to make things right between them again. Based on the song "I Almost Do" by Taylor Swift.


Author's Note:  
So today I listened to this song by Taylor Swift called "I Almost Do". One of my best friends told me to listen to it. So I did and I honestly cried. I had just finished reading a fanfic that made me felt so sad, so as I listened to the song all I could think of was Scotty and Lilly. It made me cry as I thought of them while listening deeply to the song, but it inspired me to write this fanfic. I feel like a masochist today anyways, so I decided to write it. I hope you enjoy! :3

Disclaimer:  
Yesterday was my birthday but no one gave me Cold Case or "I Almost Do" by Taylor Swift - or Taylor herself (I actually don't mind not getting her, I'm not a fan of hers anyway)...

I Almost Do

"I bet this time of night you're still up.  
I bet you're tired from a long hard week.  
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.  
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me."

Rain was pouring at that beautiful night in Philly when Lilly Rush was sitting on her living room couch all by her lonesome in her dark home. She was hugging a cushion between her chest and legs which were wrapped up by her arms as she heard the heavy rain pour from outside her home. She turned her head to the window to see the heavy rain pour. It was a beautiful sight to see as the water droplets on her window glistened as it fell to the ground. Though that wasn't what she thought about. She had another thought in her mind...

*flashback*

He pounded on her door hard in order to get her to open up her front door.

"Lil, open the damn door!" he yelled.

She walked up to her door as anger began to build up inside her and opened widely with rage.

"There! Are you happy that I opened up my damn door for you now?" she yelled back at him before turning on her heels and walking away.

He closed the door right behind him after he entered her home.

"I don't see why you're so pissed off, Lil. Why the hell are you? Huh?"

She turned around to face him. "You had no right to do what you just did. I'm a big girl, Scotty. I can handle my own damn problems."

"Oh really, now?!"

"I don't need your help with my life!"

"Really, 'cause you messed up - big time, Rush."

"Why do you even care about every single thing I do?"

"Because I actually care!"

"And you think I don't?"

"I don't think you even give a damn."

Suddenly a fiery burst of anger began to build up inside her after hearing those words he You could easily tell by the look in her eyes.

"Get out! Get out of home now!" she yelled.

With that being said he angrily with hurt opened the door, walked out of her home, and slammed the door hard.

*end*

Lilly couldn't get the painful memory of the night before out of her head. It was too much. She regretted so much of what she did. She never meant to hurt hurt him, but he made her furious.

Sighing to herself, she tried to bring herself to make things right. She knew he was still up at this hour of the night doing the same things she's doing now; watching the rain pouring on the city from her window, feeling tired with regret due to yesterday's event, and wondering how to make things right with each other.

If only they could try to make it right with each other...

"And I just wanna tell you  
It takes everything in me not to call you.  
And I wish I could run to you.  
And I hope you know that every time I don't  
I almost do,  
I almost do."

Lilly then looked down at the table beside her coach and looked at the phone that was on it. She tried to reach for it. She wanted to make things right with him. Though sadly, there was something inside of her that made her resist to take the phone in her hands and call him. As she was about to reach for the phone, she paused and suddenly decided to pull her arm back from it. She then turned her head back to the window and sadly sighed as she watched the rain pour outside.

"I bet you think I either moved on or hate you  
'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.  
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you  
And risk another goodbye."

Lilly couldn't stop thinking about the fight she had last night. She wished shd could fix everything between her and Scotty from the moment he left her home.

She knew he wanted to fix everything between them too. At work that day he'd try to talk to her, but she'd always shoot him down coldly. She didn't know if it was the anger from the previous night or the fact that she was afraid to talk to him because of it, but she just didn't have the strength to talk to him. They were silent towards each other and everyone noticed. Everyone wondered why, but the only ones who knew why were each other.

She knew he possibly thought that she had a burning hate for him due to all the things he said to her, but she didn't.

She wanted to do something to make everything ok again, but she couldn't. She didn't want to risk making a wrong move and losing everything she had with him - abd that was what she was afraid of.

If only she had the courage to try to make things right.

"And I just wanna tell you  
It takes everything in me not to call you.  
And I wish I could run to you.  
And I hope you know that every time I don't  
I almost do,  
I almost do."

The rain was pouring harder just like how many times it took Lilly to try to stop thinking about last night. She thought of ways to ask Scotty if they could put this all behind her as she watched the rain, but it was useless to because she knew she wouldn't even try to get in contact with him.

She sighed as she unwrapped her legs and placed her cushion back to its place on the couch. She stood up from it and walked to the stairs. She climbed it and walked to her bedroom. She was already in a gray cotton sweater and a pair of pastel blue cotton pajama pants, so she hoped in bed beside her cats who were already fast asleep and tried to get some shut eyes as well.

"Oh, we made quite a mess, babe.  
It's probably better off this way.  
And I confess, babe,  
In my dreams you're touching my face  
And asking me if I wanna try again with you.  
And I almost do."

As Lilly laid in bed she found it very difficult to sleep. She was still heavy with deep thoughts of her confrontation with Scotty.

She tried to close her eyes and tried to drift off to dreamland. When she did, she suddenly dreamed that she was with Scotty. Everything was alright with them. They were both happy and enjoying each other. He was holding her close from behind and she leaned into his touch. She was so happy and he was too. All they wanted to do was cherish that moment together.

"And I just wanna tell you  
It takes everything in me not to call you.  
And I wish I could run to you.  
And I hope you know that every time I don't  
I almost do,  
I almost do."

Lilly suddenly shot up from her sleep. She realized she only slept for half an hour, but her dream seemed to be hours long. She couldn't help but cry. She wrapped her legs tightly around her chest once more as tears fell down her face. They were like water falls on her face. She began sobbing as she felt regret, guilt, anger, and sadness. She cared so much about Scotty and at that moment she knew she had to mend what was broken between them.

She tearfully stood up from her bed and walked out of her room. She moved to the stairs and went downstairs to her living room. She walked to the front door and grabbed her coat on her coat hanger before exiting her home.

"I bet this time of night you're still up.  
I bet you're tired from a long hard week.  
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.  
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me."

Lilly drove to Scotty's apartment building. Once she arrived, she walked over to his apartment and knocked on his door.

Scotty was sitting by his bedroom window as he watched the shiny droplets of rain pour on the city. Like Lilly he deeply thought of his actions the night before with regret. Those thoughts were imterrupted when he heard soft thumps on his door.

He stood up from his seat, walked out of his room, and headed towards the front door of his home. He opened the front door and was shocked to see Lilly, the woman he had fought with on the previous night, outside his door with a sad look on her face. Her face was shining witb tear stains on her cheeks, so he could tell she's been crying.

"Hey." she said softly.

"Hey." he said to her back.

"Can I come inside? Please?" she asked.

He simply stepped aside and let her pass. Once she was inside his dark apartment, he closed the door. He turned around and found her walking towards his bedroom which was open. He followed her in. He sat on his bed as she remained standing up.

"So..." she said awkwardly as she crossed her arms and looked down at the ground.

"So..." he repeated awkwardly as he looked at the ground as well.

The were both in awkward silence. It wasn't long before Scotty broke it.

"Lil..." he said.

"Scotty," she interjected. "let me be first to say..."

He just stared at her from where he was, giving her permission to go on with what she's about to say to him.

"I'm sorry about last night." she said. "I shouldn't have kept you out of my house or yelled at you or even kicked you out. I was just so made at you when you said that you think that I don't care. I do care. It's just that I don't want to do anything to screw this up, because I always do and I don't want to screw this up. I hope you find it somewhere in you to forgive and work this out with me, because I don't want to lose you and that's what I'm afraid of."

He slightly smirked and then wiped it off. "I'm sorry about last night too." he said. "I shouldn't have banged on your door or yelled at you or said all that I did. I thought you weren't giving enough effort into this, so I thought you didn't care. If I only knew what you just told me now, then I'd understand. I hope you can forgive me and I hope you don't hate me because I will never forgive myself if you do."

She stared at him before walking towards the bed. She turned around and Scotty moved knowing that she was gonna yake a seat beside him. She sighed before she sat down.

"Thanks Scotty." she said.

"I don't think you screw everything up." he said.

Lilly slightly laughed at what Scotty said and he did too (with her, actually). After she finally turned her head to look at him.

"But why do you actually care so much about this?" she asked.

He turned his head and looked at her in her beautiful blue eyes. "Because I care about you, Lil." he answered. "I care about you more than I should, but thay doesn't matter because I'll never stop caring for you the way I do. I know you don't care about me the same way I do, but just know how much I do and that I will always be here for you no matter what. Always."

Lilly was touched by his words. She was looking at him in his brown eyes the whole time and they told her that what he was saying was true. She leaned forward and closed her eyes as her lips met his. With the feeling of her lips on his, Scotty closed his eyes and placed a hand at the side of her face. He caressed her cheek as he wiped away a single tear that fell from her face.

She broke the kiss, grabbed his hand on her cheek, removed it from her face, took it in her hand, and placed it on her lap. "But that's where you're wrong, Scotty." she said looking into his eyes. "I do care about you so much more than I should. If you only knew how much I do..."

She then captured his lips with hers once again and their eyes closed shut. Scotty placed his hand back on Lilly's cheek. She placed a hand over his hand that was on his cheek and her thumb softly rubbed on it. They both melted into each others soft touch. Soon, they both collapsed sidrways on the bed without breaking their kiss.

The sound of the rain began to slowly become soft. Outside the window the rain was beginning to come to a stop, leaving glistening little water droplets stuck on the window.

Author's Note:  
Woohoo! New fanfic writing record! It only took me three hours to write this oneshot! Normally it takes me two nights to write a oneshot (I admit to be a slow writer). I think this is my best fanfic so far. If you noticed, I sort of changed my writing style because I'm gonna use my phone to type my fanfics on (finally I have a good phone). So I hope you all loved my fanfic. This is a great close to my summer and a great way to start a new year for me (yesterday was my birthday). If you want and if you can, please leave a review! It would be a great birthday gift from you to me! :3


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